Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you felt the need of being alone? Somehow facing the inner emptiness can be daunting. But there are times when things don’t go as you planned, some accidents change your whole life, some people choose to leave you (death or otherwise), and some times despite everything being perfect there seems to be this empty space within you. A ‘space’ which no one can fathom, touch, feels or see; except you.  A space that which understands only silence. A space which cannot be filled by words, feelings, people, entertainment, books, etc. A ‘space’ which makes us feel lonely even in a crowd. This space could be enforced or by choice.

It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts.  ~K.T. Jong

Every one at some stage in life craves to be alone. It could be driven by external circumstances, inner restlessness, and excess in ambition or over indulgence in materialism or simply when you find yourself at crossroads of life. And it almost becomes imperative to find your identity or yourself. The answers which are not answered in the chaos of daily life are more often revealed when you seek them within you. Most of the times when you are in the arms of mother nature or indulge in doing something which is blissful and brings you closer to yourself and ultimately god.

Contrary to well-liked belief being empty doesn’t make u a recluse, it just gets you to closer to the most important person and that is “you”. We devote our entire lives to the people we care and love about, everything that we do orbits around these people. And we forget the one who should matter the most. So am I being self centered whilst saying this? Nah… as children we have been conditioned to help, love and care for others and seldom pay heed to our needs. But what we forget is that we cannot love n care for others if we don’t love ourselves. At the cost of sounding narcissistic I would say that the simple truth is you cannot give someone something that you yourself do not possess.

One travels more usefully when alone, because he reflects more. ~ Thomas Jefferson

It becomes imperative that we give this person all the love and attention he/she deserves only to add more depths to them. So it’s about time to pack your bags and take that well deserved trip to a destination of your choice or learn the skill that you once sacrificed for someone else’s happiness, dancing, singing, gardening, painting, take a hike, walk down the beach or park… take your pick or just stick to basic meditation. Whatever makes you lose yourself and rejuvenate you… tread this journey from the pangs of loneliness to the bliss of being alone… Time to unveil your happiness by giving ‘you’ the joy of solitary freedom…

The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself ~ Doug Coupland

Passion is the quickest to develop, and quickest to fade; intimacy develops more slowly and commitment more gradually still ~ Robert Sternberg

Why is it that the people we truly love seem far away? Why is it that everyone wants to be physical but not intimate? Is being intimate and being vulnerable, the scariest thing in a relationship? What is it that we seek in our relationships? Freedom, space, love, companionship, sex, togetherness may be all of these. But do freedom and companionship go hand in hand or it’s just utopia???

What is it that locks all doors to intimacy? Is it because it puts an end to our freedom? Or is it very painful to bare our soul to the one we love and counter rejection? Or sharing our secrets would make us more vulnerable to hurt? The answer could be a plain ‘yes’ to all these questions and a lot more perhaps!

In today’s time and age it is a rarity to find the intimacy that the older generation boasted about. Given the vast number of choices and options, it’s very rarely that we do we make an endeavor to get closer or open our souls to the object of our affection. The proximity that we have is give or take only physical and to a trivial extent mental. These relationships which could be termed as ‘hit and run’ relationships of the millennia are more about meeting on the periphery. Here we only manage to know the person just on the outside and we do not make any attempt to be acquainted with the real person. And on the other hand we also create a wall around ourselves, to allow anyone a peek inside our heart too.

In the present day’s digitalized era why do we find comfort in the sms or chats rather a one to one talk with each other. We could be in the most coveted relationship and yet it could be devoid of intimacy. What is it that we want to avoid or run away from? Are we running from the other who again is a mere reflection of ourselves?

So why is that we are satisfied with these superficial bonds than pursue real relations. Is it too much to invest in true happiness or is it that we rather handle superficial sadness and pain better. I would agree that that the stakes are really high when it’s our heart which is at risk. But no gains would be real without pains. I would say risk everything including yourself, lose yourself don’t hold back even that 1% of yourself. In love the one who loses gains all.

Most times we are scared of being judged by the people we love. But what we really need to do is accept ourselves for what we truly are. Leave the judging to the critiques, every minute spent on judging a person is one minute spent less on loving them. We are always trying to save ourselves from hurt, manipulating our feelings, but the real adventure lies in letting go. If nothing happens you know that at least you were real and true to your own feelings. And that is when real growth happens.

Be careful when you invest, be shrewd when you doing business, be diplomatic when you are doing your job, be rigid when you go out there to fulfill your ambitions…. But be carefree, be naïve, be sensitive, be soft and be intimate when you love… that’s how you grow within and be your authentic self.

Relationship karmas...

For starters will someone tell me what’s karma? In hindu belief, karma is best defined as the deeds you do during your lifetime on this planet earth. While Christian and Mohmeddan beliefs stem from only one life on earth, Buddhist and hindu religions insist on rebirth and the cycle of life, where you are trapped in your human existence till your soul reaches enlightenment…

Anyways you would be wondering what connects all these to our relationships. It does! Since everything is all about managing and growing with our relationships. We all are doing deeds at every stage of our evolution, whether intentionally or unconsciously. There are many a times you end up at a cross road in life and you question yourself now what? Where do I go from here? Why me? And sometimes you choose to wonder that if this is what I really needed? Lot of questions… and the answer just one ‘what goes around most definitely comes around’, in short ‘it’s your karma and payback time. P.S. this does not necessarily mean bad news; we all do have that exhaustive good karma too J

 What is our relationship karma? Is it forever falling into a pattern of bad relationships? Or attracting the wrong kind of partners? Or making the wrong choices? And maybe all of the above and more.

Talk it out

Everyone has his or her own bit of soul searching to do when figuring out their own life. And trust me, when you seek you do get an answer, sooner or later. So how do you get out of this awful karma situation, simple identify your own mistakes, or rather the negative pattern of choices and don’t repeat them. As very rightly said if you aren’t learning from your mistakes you aren’t getting wiser. There are other alternatives too like getting some help from your most trusted friends. Sometimes whilst making tough choices you do get blinded with emotions and can’t think as the crow flies. And a reliable judgment ain’t hurt anyone.  Another important thing is to drop the baggage of the past and start afresh, nothing stifles a potential relationship more than the grudge you choose to carry on. But whatever you do always trust your heart and gut, and more that anything else trust yourself.  Following your heart won’t make you immune to heartbreaks mind it but you will always have something to smile about and someone to love J Love conquers everything even your karma.

Cheers to us with our not so perfect selves and not so perfect judgments. As life in itself is perfect in its imperfections!

Are you healthy?

The first wealth is health ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

We all want to be in the pink of health and do everything to stay hale and hearty and falling ill is the last thing anyone would want on their wish list.  But yet every once in a while nature rings a bell, that is unavoidable if not impossible. Today mankind has almost got a cure for all the dreadful disease that has plagued the human existence. Every moment there is a discovery of some magical potion which would give humans a new lease of life. My question is why do only humans need medicines? Never seen a dog taking a cough syrup or a lion with a toothache or any other species for that matter? Is it coz we are the higher species than them? Or is it because we have forgotten to accept nature? And what exactly is being sick? Do its precincts last only till physical body or does it go beyond? What defines health?

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not just the absence of disease or ill-health. Yes science has proved time and again that the reason for falling ill is primarily stress in way of emotional, psychological, physical and mental. The logical explanation is that when there is an imbalance of any form in your system, your body decides to give you a break, whether you fancy it or not. That’s nature’s way of repair for the wear and tear that we put ourselves through. Sometimes it’s a jolt to wake up and realize that we also need to be concerned with our well being. We need to treat our body, mind and soul with respect!  We need to heighten our awareness about what we eat, drink and incorporating some form of exercise is a must. We all are food lovers but binge eating, unhealthy foods, is what we need to look out for. Anything in excess is unhealthy. I recognize there are certain things which are inevitable in the kind of lifestyle we lead or career engagements and keeping up with the fast paced life of the city. But we need to make a commitment to ourselves, since being healthy is being content too!

Diseases of the soul are more dangerous and more numerous than those of the body ~ Cicero

Many of us can handle physical stress, but what about the mental, emotional and psychological stress that is out of our control. But is the one that hits us hard. Science has also proved that most of our illnesses are majorly caused due to disorderly mind and disturbed emotions. Modern man has been juggling this tricky job for a lifetime now. I guess most of us today would have at least 2-3 symptoms of a stress disorder, which given our standard of living have become quite common. There is a solution to everything in life, but all we need to do is incorporate it. We all are fighting our own demons of expectations that we have set for ourselves and that others have set for us too. So it’s about time that we go easy on ourselves and not get weighed down by unrealistic aims and dreams. 

And it’s only when we are unwell that we do get a chance to recoup on the lost energy. Sometimes it also is a blessing in disguise, as it gives you time to introspect, appreciate and value the life that you have been sanctified with. And it’s in these moments that I have learnt to accept circumstances which cannot be changed and enjoying what life hands out to you. As there will always be things we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn and people we can’t live without but have to let go. So the manra for good health: eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately and laugh whole heartedly!

 Like they say if life gives you lemons, make lemonade and if you are a bit too adventurous tequila would be a best shot!

“If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.” ~ Kahlil Gibran

Want to know a secret?? Sure every one of us wants to know a secret whatever it may be. So what’s your deepest, darkest and deadliest secret? We all have a well kept secret, whether shared or shoved somewhere deep in the recesses of our minds and hearts. Our whole life is a journey, where we meet our fellow travelers, in the way of friends, family, acquaintances and even strangers. And in this journey irrespective of whether we arrive at our destination or not, we encounter many experiences, situations and accidents… good, bad and ugly… of which few become our secrets. All of which affect our learning curve in this lifetime. And don’t we all love secrets especially when we are not the ones revealing it ;)

Life tosses us random circumstances, pleasant and the not so pleasant too, which become a part of our deeper self and turn into a ‘secret’. There could be immense possibilities and sorts of secret, the ones you could possibly share with a stranger but not your best friend and the ones which go with you to your grave, unspoken. Some those bring fond memories and some wrenching pain and fear and make you wonder why it happened to you... Some are those goofs which we want to forget and then there are those trade secrets kept at work… Then there are those life altering secrets that haunt your existence and are best forgotten. So why is it that a ‘Secret’ about a person intrigues us? Is it the power we get over the person that we now recognize a vulnerable part of him? Or just knowing that we are trustworthy?

 “The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep” ~ Edgar Watson. Why do we need to keep a secret? The reasons could be many, but rightly said, it’s wiser to keep your secrets. The only time where you could let your guard down is when they overpower you. Although my life has been an open book most of the times, there are those chapters which are best not revealed. The secret here is to conceal your own and never let down those who reveal theirs to you. And some times secrets are best kept, to treasure the mystery behind every person.

"If we knew each other's secrets, what comfort we would find."
— John Churton Collins

 

God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone, but on trees and flowers and clouds and stars. ~Author unknown

This holds true when you are in one of his marvelous creations called Goa!

Goa... a land of sun, sand and beaches and may i say the rains too!!! This beautiful destination conjures up memories for almost everyone who has managed to lay feet on it… a one stop destination for fun, frolic, adventure, romance and peace too.. This laidback state almost has infinite facets, just like the Pandora’s Box you never know what you will find. As a child most of the vacations to this dreamy land have almost been memorable and till today it never fails to surprise me. At times it’s a proud feeling that this land is my native. It never fails to live up to its image of “susegadh” which means relaxed.

The journey to this mesmerizing terrain has also been memorable… whether it’s the bus or car ride which takes you through ghats exploring the mountains and gauging the depths of valleys. Or it’s the view from the top, from the aircraft, which showcases the stretch of coconut trees and the never ending expanse of the Arabian Sea… absolutely breathtaking. And there is the konkan railway… which takes you through the lush green fields, gushing rivers, mud houses, cattle grazing and if it’s the rains, the view becomes magical even more magical with the clouds hugging the mountains, the breath taking water falls, and the sweet scent of drenched mother earth.. Priceless!!!

Almost everyone has their own unique plan when they holiday here. It satiates every tourists fantasy… tourists who come to enjoy the sun, sand and beach, tourists who seek adventure in the water and adventure sports… tourists who just wanna eat, drink and make merry (this is the prime oneJ)… tourists who wanna party hard and get on the wrong side of going ‘rave’… besides this there are those who come to satisfy their spiritual thirst, to meditate or just visit the beautiful churches and temples that grace this place.  Above all there’s the vast stretch of beaches that begins from Terecol to Cancona down south and those who want to get away from the frenzy, there are those virgin beaches and unexplored forests which beckon every wayward traveler. Each beach celebrates its own inimitable splendor & gait, beckoning you to do the same. Whether it's a swim in the sea or lazing on the shore with your feet up (with a book to read ;) ).  For people who love to wine, dine with some soulful music, you have to look no further. With restaurants offering finger licking fare for your taste buds and music for your soul. And a few like me who just choose to go with the flow and open myself to whatever this mysterious and enthralling place has to unravel. And it has never let me down J…

One of the most captivating quality of Goa is that it is 'non judgmental', whatever you wear, drink or do, there is no stopping you, pure fun and freedom in every moment is what you savor. This encapsulates this awesome tourist destination that has mesmerized millions and will do so for years to come!!!

Earth and sky, woods and fields, lakes and rivers, the mountain and the sea, are excellent schoolmasters, and teach some of us more than we can ever learn from books.  ~John Lubbock

"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Acceptance this word holds many a different meanings for different individuals and different circumstances. Life puts us through numerous trials and tribulations. Sometimes we fight it out, and emerge victor or sometimes the situation changes for the better. But there are those times when no matter what we do, no matter how much you fight it out, there seems to be no way out. No answer, no solution and no respite. What do you do then, get depressed, blame someone else for the misery, shut yourself completely and drown in your sorrow.

It’s in despair that we find respite, its time look deep within ourselves and do some soul searching. But most importantly it’s imperative that we accept everything in its totality. Immense peace is the effect of unconditional acceptance. It’s the trickiest thing but not impossible, especially when the grief and loss is abound. But take heart and it happens, all troubles seem to fade away and you will see light at the end of the dark tunnel.  All tunnels have to end and this one will too.

But the most important thing here is about accepting your own self, loving yourself as you are, and respecting it. If you aren’t happy with yourself you won’t be tolerant of the other. Every relationship is a mirror where the other reflects a part of you, if you dislike something; you reject a piece of you too. Accepting your uniqueness and being tolerant towards others differences is your ticket to bliss.

~ You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with the best you have to give. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt