Reiki....the healing touch

"Just for today, I will not be angry.
Just for today, I will not worry.
Just for today, I will give thanks for my many blessings.
Just for today, I will do my work honestly.
Just for today, I will be kind to every living thing"

Healing Touch

a Time to begin...

Time to start writing my blog again……. 

Time waits for none… we all work around ‘time’ but what is this time that we talk about.

Just an intangible thing that none of us can explain. Is time the sum of our memories, experiences, and circumstances? And is time different for one and all? Well yes and a no, Time is what you make of it!

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. ~ Carl Sandburg

In today’s competitive world we all are running behind time, struggling to be on time, arrive on time, caught up in this time clock of 24 hours. The timer starts the moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and the mad rush with time begins. From getting to leave home to reaching office on time, to making it for the client appointment, to getting the kids to school on time, to the dentist’s appointment, to the gym, to the dinner date, and finally to bed (and I wouldn't be surprised if we time ourselves in our dreams too ;) ).. Phew! I guess that could all earn us a degree in well, Time Management. J

Well it’s a surprise on how much importance we give to the so called ‘time’ in our lives. So are we using our time constructively for our betterment and the good of others? Are we able to devote “time” to all those who we value and precious to us? Do we have enough Time for ourselves and our growth? 

Let me make this easier for you.

“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” – Will Rogers

In YOUR life you get to decide what you do with the ‘time’ you have in your hand. You can put it to the best use or just squander it. Whatever you do, YOU are responsible for it. Time to get to the core, what we need to identify what are our priorities in life and what we value and cherish the most. Every person has different set of needs, where some people value relationship and family ties, whereas some are driven by their passion (read career), and some take refuge in material comforts and other personal desires. Once we identify what is our priority, time to take stock of life! If you solely take the responsibility of the wings of your 'time' there is no dearth to the flights you can take. 

“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” – Michael Altshuler

To make this simpler we just need to do some self check. 

·         Where do you spend most of your time?

The first step would be to identify where maximum amount of your time is spent; at work, or commuting, with friends, socializing  etc. Then probably you could try to tweak your lifestyle and make some changes so you are left with more time in hand.

·         How do you prioritize so as to take out maximum time for things you value?

The second step would be to list down the things that you would like to do with this new found time. Probably spend it reading or playing with your children, walk your dog, join the dance class (you always wanted to), or just simply spend some more quality time with your spouse or parents. Or if you wanna be selfless could help an NGO, educate a child or just help a neighbor. 

·         If that seems difficult then taking time off (yes OFF) to do things You really want to do.

Yes if altering your schedule seems difficult then just put in that leave application you have been delaying and pack off to your holiday destination.

 These are a little things which I feel one can do make the most out of our time. In this rat race, at times we leave behind the more important things in our lives. And the most significant of all of them is “YOU” . We have to set aside certain time in our lives for OUR own growth, be it spiritual, intellectual or emotional. 

Be your own best friend and spend quality time with Yourself!

Love yourself and your self will love you back in TIME! J  

Kind words

"Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place,
but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing
at the tempting moment."

-- Benjamin Franklin

How many times have we uttered hurtful words in moments of anger or pain, and then regretted later.  I am sure there must be many a instances in life where we say or do insensitive things that we don’t really mean. Many an instance these cost us our friends, partners, spouse, job, life, etc.., the list could be endless. But that one weak moment of anger, rage or vengeance; erases all that was beautiful, all the past glory, all that was nurtured, all that we had.

They say relationships are fragile like a glass; you can mend them when they break, but the cracks will always be there.  Too many cracks and it looks ugly, both the relationship and the glass that is. So what do we do to endure these relations and keep them from getting dented by our own fury or shortcomings? The answer is very simple and yet the most difficult. It starts with ‘me’ and ends with ‘me’. The only thing that you would need to change here is this ‘me’.  Yes I know it is easier said than done to hold on at that vulnerable moment. I would probably try some breathing ;) … jokes apart I think we can achieve this only by ‘being very conscious and aware’ at that very moment. This although difficult would take some diligent effort from your side. But it would save a relationship, a job and most importantly the ‘guilt’ that follows.  More so than often we find ourselves being polite to strangers and less that amiable with our loved ones.

The echo of kind word is endless, so we make a pact with ourselves that no matter what we would need to fill this place with a positive resonance.  Not only will it bring peace to your surrounding but rid you off the taut grip of guilt and anger.

Useless to useful... a journey you need to make yourself..

Life does not agree with philosophy. There is no happiness that is not idleness, and only what is useless is pleasurable ~ Anton Chekov

You are useless… you are absolutely worthless... We must have heard these words at least once in our life. Be it our family, teachers, friends, relatives, society in general… anyone and everyone here is out to judge you, whether or not you ask for it. The society has its set (read false) standards which it has set for every living thing on this planet. a certain code of conduct, rules, principles, how to, are imposed upon you at every growing period of your life.

So are we supposed to give in and keep plying to these expectations (sometimes unrealistic… sometimes realistic but at a price) that are constantly laid down? Or we just don’t conform and are touted as rebels.

How would you define someone’s worth?? Is there a defined parameter where you would judge someone’s profitability or usefulness? Or is it a similar ‘conditioning’ that we are subjected to by the society in general. Is success very crucial to our survival or a non successful but a happy existence more important. I would want to sound prudent and say that successful people are not happy, but yes everything comes at a price. In today’s day and age where there is no success without competition, I would say it is a ‘costly’ affair. So with such high pressures in the society it would be unlikely that your merit is weighed every single day. Every day we strive to live up to the expectations of our family members, office superiors, colleagues, peers, neighbors’ too, etc etc. the list could be endless.

Do we measure our worth through the eyes of these people and the standards they have set up for us or do we truly value ourselves without being harsh on us and accept ourselves the way we are. Why is the need for recognition from others so essential? Perhaps that’s the way our egos are satisfied too, ever since we step into nursery.

Nature (read god) on its own is all encompassing and ever accepting of everything that shelters within it. The trees, rocks, plants, rivers, animals, birds, every being is unique and precious. The circle of life is incomplete without the absence any one creature in this thirst for survival. A rock is as important as the delicate lotus, a tiger is as vital as the tender deer; a chameleon has its own significance as does a butterfly, and an eagle and a sparrow are as much a part of this perfect existence. So why is it that we as humans fail to understand and accept our nature and our shortcomings and be our beautiful self’s? Contrary to the general perception we all are just fine with our weaknesses and strength. And yes I wouldn’t deny that our creativity and skills do need improvisation, so that we could excel in our own way. And this wouldn’t be at the ‘COST’ of anything.

Finding your true nature and your calling is very critical to turn you into the person not that the society wants you to be, but rather reach your highest potential.  The whole approach might look the same that the society has carved for us but it’s far more joyful, sincere and non serious. And whoever said that useless people are not important to our society, have not yet realized the importance of recycling… at the cost of sounding funny what I meant what the skills and qualities of these people have not been recycled yet. And the day we find rediscover our true identity, it would be up to the world to reassess your worth. J  

No one is “useless” in the world who lightens the burden of it for anyone else ~ Charles Dickens

Being honest…

The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. ~ Arthur C. Clarke

Is honesty honestly the best policy or is the middle route of a bit of honesty and a bit of lies seems safer. On an average every person lies at least 4-5 times in a day (though the average for men seems higher than the women, not being biased here) which on a real note seems acceptable. We all have our share of white lies on display at work, with our family, spouse, and friends.

As they say truth and honesty come at a price, the only question being here at what expense. What is it that is at stake? Our moral standards persuade us to comply to honestly. In our day to day living it is essential that we incorporate this virtue. In this generation x where we could stoop to any levels to survive the cut throat competition and achieve our ambitions, little does it matter that we compromise on honesty. Survival of the fittest seems to be the worldly mantra now. So in a professional environment it’s a given, that you compromise on your honesty at some point in time.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.  ~Josh Billings

In the truest term honesty can never be ‘policy’, and it can’t be applied to all walks of life. Where in a competitive world conciliation with your honesty is tolerable, how acceptable is it in our relationships. Do we risk losing the people we love and care at the cost of being honest? Or do they strengthen the ties? Where this topic could be vastly debatable, it does require a good deal of reflection. We all want to be honest when it comes to our relationships, but whether or not the opposite person mature enough to handle it will always be incomprehensible. And then the only safer path appears to be that of white lies. But the only thing one should be wary of is not to allow these white lies progress to murky deceptions.  To allow almost total honesty would mean oodles and oodles of trust in a relationship, where one knows their limitations and adheres to the same. And when you find yourself at the receiving end of these ‘ugly truths’, all you can do is muster up all the maturity you have and trust ;)

Honesty is the cruelest game of all, because not only can you hurt someone – and hurt them to the bone – you can feel self-righteous about it at the same time. ~ Dave Van Ronk

We all have our reasons (good enough) to do (or say) what we do, whether honest or not, we should be responsible for our own ugly truths. The toughest test would be being honest and true to oneself… it wouldn’t ensure you will be loved, but is certainly an integral part of it.

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you felt the need of being alone? Somehow facing the inner emptiness can be daunting. But there are times when things don’t go as you planned, some accidents change your whole life, some people choose to leave you (death or otherwise), and some times despite everything being perfect there seems to be this empty space within you. A ‘space’ which no one can fathom, touch, feels or see; except you.  A space that which understands only silence. A space which cannot be filled by words, feelings, people, entertainment, books, etc. A ‘space’ which makes us feel lonely even in a crowd. This space could be enforced or by choice.

It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts.  ~K.T. Jong

Every one at some stage in life craves to be alone. It could be driven by external circumstances, inner restlessness, and excess in ambition or over indulgence in materialism or simply when you find yourself at crossroads of life. And it almost becomes imperative to find your identity or yourself. The answers which are not answered in the chaos of daily life are more often revealed when you seek them within you. Most of the times when you are in the arms of mother nature or indulge in doing something which is blissful and brings you closer to yourself and ultimately god.

Contrary to well-liked belief being empty doesn’t make u a recluse, it just gets you to closer to the most important person and that is “you”. We devote our entire lives to the people we care and love about, everything that we do orbits around these people. And we forget the one who should matter the most. So am I being self centered whilst saying this? Nah… as children we have been conditioned to help, love and care for others and seldom pay heed to our needs. But what we forget is that we cannot love n care for others if we don’t love ourselves. At the cost of sounding narcissistic I would say that the simple truth is you cannot give someone something that you yourself do not possess.

One travels more usefully when alone, because he reflects more. ~ Thomas Jefferson

It becomes imperative that we give this person all the love and attention he/she deserves only to add more depths to them. So it’s about time to pack your bags and take that well deserved trip to a destination of your choice or learn the skill that you once sacrificed for someone else’s happiness, dancing, singing, gardening, painting, take a hike, walk down the beach or park… take your pick or just stick to basic meditation. Whatever makes you lose yourself and rejuvenate you… tread this journey from the pangs of loneliness to the bliss of being alone… Time to unveil your happiness by giving ‘you’ the joy of solitary freedom…

The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself ~ Doug Coupland

Passion is the quickest to develop, and quickest to fade; intimacy develops more slowly and commitment more gradually still ~ Robert Sternberg

Why is it that the people we truly love seem far away? Why is it that everyone wants to be physical but not intimate? Is being intimate and being vulnerable, the scariest thing in a relationship? What is it that we seek in our relationships? Freedom, space, love, companionship, sex, togetherness may be all of these. But do freedom and companionship go hand in hand or it’s just utopia???

What is it that locks all doors to intimacy? Is it because it puts an end to our freedom? Or is it very painful to bare our soul to the one we love and counter rejection? Or sharing our secrets would make us more vulnerable to hurt? The answer could be a plain ‘yes’ to all these questions and a lot more perhaps!

In today’s time and age it is a rarity to find the intimacy that the older generation boasted about. Given the vast number of choices and options, it’s very rarely that we do we make an endeavor to get closer or open our souls to the object of our affection. The proximity that we have is give or take only physical and to a trivial extent mental. These relationships which could be termed as ‘hit and run’ relationships of the millennia are more about meeting on the periphery. Here we only manage to know the person just on the outside and we do not make any attempt to be acquainted with the real person. And on the other hand we also create a wall around ourselves, to allow anyone a peek inside our heart too.

In the present day’s digitalized era why do we find comfort in the sms or chats rather a one to one talk with each other. We could be in the most coveted relationship and yet it could be devoid of intimacy. What is it that we want to avoid or run away from? Are we running from the other who again is a mere reflection of ourselves?

So why is that we are satisfied with these superficial bonds than pursue real relations. Is it too much to invest in true happiness or is it that we rather handle superficial sadness and pain better. I would agree that that the stakes are really high when it’s our heart which is at risk. But no gains would be real without pains. I would say risk everything including yourself, lose yourself don’t hold back even that 1% of yourself. In love the one who loses gains all.

Most times we are scared of being judged by the people we love. But what we really need to do is accept ourselves for what we truly are. Leave the judging to the critiques, every minute spent on judging a person is one minute spent less on loving them. We are always trying to save ourselves from hurt, manipulating our feelings, but the real adventure lies in letting go. If nothing happens you know that at least you were real and true to your own feelings. And that is when real growth happens.

Be careful when you invest, be shrewd when you doing business, be diplomatic when you are doing your job, be rigid when you go out there to fulfill your ambitions…. But be carefree, be naïve, be sensitive, be soft and be intimate when you love… that’s how you grow within and be your authentic self.