A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving ~ Lao Tzu

The best things in life happen unplanned…

How true is that, coz if I recount the life that has gone by or the recent past, all I would say is that the most memorable moments, holidays, lunches, escapades were the ones those were totally unplanned!

We are conditioned to plan everything right from our holidays to our investments to our marriage to our life… phew that should be quite a bit of planning for sure ;). But what exactly is planning?? How can we plan anything at all when we don’t know what the next moment will bring about? And how fool proof will this plan be? I have met many a folks who are uncannily obsessed with planning everything in their life to the tee. Probably it dates back to the human need of security which is ingrained in our minds since eons, or its just plain non acceptance of uncertainty in life.

So what exactly happens when ‘Man proposes and god disposes’ how do we cope-up with it? or when our plans don’t meet our own expectations. The despair and misery that follow are insurmountable at times. But that’s the way existence teaches us to counter the uncertainties in our lives. What with the power of infallible designs would make us less human and more divine.

By all this I wouldn’t say that we should quit planning and organizing our lives, since that’s the only alternate to better our progress. We simply need to be aware and accept that ‘insecurity’ is a part and parcel of ‘higher’ planningJ. Be ever grateful if even half of these are accomplished.

The only thing certain in life is ‘Death’, I know it’s harsh but that’s the truth. But knowing this I couldn’t value life any lesser but live for the moment. You could never be more alive had you been less spontaneous, and enjoy the small pleasures that come your way every single day. Let’s not lose out on these pearls while we busy (rather plan to) collect stones!

“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans” John Lennon

Mistakes are the portals of discovery ~ James Joyce

We grow up making them,  from birth to death, all our life consists of making and learning from them... Some insignificant, some fatal, some trivial, some irreversible but nevertheless we can’t ignore them. What are these mistakes? What upshot do they have on our life and those whose life is entwined with ours? Then there are those that we could rectify, and then those unalterable or when it’s too late to amend ones.

My life too has been and of course will be, what I would like to call it, a ‘cocktail of errors’, coz most of the time they have been mixed emotions for me! Right from birth we make our own mistakes and that’s how we improve on ourselves, haven’t heard of any foolproof method other than that. It’s a given that you can never learn without making mistakes. We all goof up, have our boo-boo moments, we seek pardon and move on. What about those which leave perpetual scars behind in your memory or psyche. You lose out on friendships, jobs, perhaps people you love or who have loved you. But that’s what I would call being human after all. You become more and more integrated with every experience.

Most often we pardon someone else’s mistakes easily but recovering from our own mistakes is an uphill task for sure. To err is human and to forgive is divine, so while we extend this divinity to others, so why are we hard on ourselves. But when you regret is the only (guilt) trap you set for yourself.

The only regret should be when you don’t learn from your mistakes and even more when you repeat them. And learning from others is insight gained too!

Let’s make some newer mistakes, so that we don’t stall the stroke of wisdom coming our way! J

Our envy always lasts longer than the happiness of those we envy ~ François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

If there is one emotion I haven’t been able to fathom yet it has to be “Jealousy”.. An emotion so lethal, and along with anger could be the worst enemy of your soul.  Where does this emotion originate from? I have myself this question a million times? Did get a million answers too, but yet find myself entangled in it. Every time I feel I have uncovered the truth, it strikes again with a vengeance. So here I am once again trying to do the inconceivable.

One of the strongest human emotions, which when triggered could do irreparable damage to you as well as those you love and care about. Almost always it creeps up slyly in your heart and minds too and catches you off guard. Your sister’s successful career, your friend’s boyfriend, your colleague’s promotion, your neighbors’ BMW, your boss’s studio apartment, so on and so forth the list could be endless. You would say jealousy between siblings and with others is normal. But yet how normal is normal. I would agree that little spark of emotion, if channeled in the right way could bring out the best in you. The only fear is it what happens when it triggers the negative you?? The earlier you realize the onset of it, less threatening will be the consequences.

Don’t know how it triggered into my existence too, but undeniably rooted in my childhood. When your sibling being the smarter one gets more accolades or your school mates being rich could afford the high end toys. Just a mark of innocent pleasures denied, which later spirals into heightened uncontrollable disarray of emotions.

A lot of answers have been given by spiritual gurus, self help books to curtail this emotion. But all we need to do is just bring more awareness to ourselves. Since birth man has the need to be loved, a need which goes stronger as we grow. When we are born, we become the center of attention of everyone. Now that attention is called for, or it would be difficult for a child to survive. But you are in quandary when you seek this attention constantly. And when this attention when gets divided leads to ‘comparison’ which is when jealousy spurs. It could be never ending; given that at all times there would be someone superior, richer, smarter & happier than you are. So it would be much simpler to discover your Genius in you! Just like we have accepted a rose with its thorns, so accepting ones’ self with all short comings might help. You need find your own self worth and appreciate your uniqueness.

Find your blessings & happiness rooted in you, and not others.

I guess I have found my solution here, hope you find yours’ too!  J

O! beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on.
~William Shakespeare, Othello

A good book on your shelf is a friend that turns its back on you and remains a friend. ~ Author Unknown

A loyal companion, a true friend, a complete philosopher and an ultimate guide.. Words will be insufficient to describe this special friend who has been there ever since I embarked on this journey to discover myself. This thirst for knowledge which almost compels you to explore the depths of your mind, feelings and even questions your own beliefs. So ever since this search began these books have been my friends (actually innumerable) forever. It’s been a long association ever since… trying to recall.

It all started when as a 3 year old scribbled on the walls of the house, till I could read those letters.. I would say that must have been the second most blessed day of my life (the first being the day I was born). The day I could read. But the never ending romance had just began at the tender age of six, when I received my first book as a prize. And that was it, my hunger stays insatiable till today. Yes of course the content differed, from elves and princes in fairy tales to handsome protagonist in the M&B novels.. Then somewhere down the line I tried to add more meaning to what I read, that meant self help, positive thinking, occult sciences etc etc.. Phew! There is no end to what one could read. My reading varied from novels and magazines for pure entertainment to spiritual books for pure wisdom, and yes for the fantasies the fairy tales do continue (with Harry Potter though)… the list would be endless.

With the passage of time and the enslavement and handiness of the ‘internet’ I do feel detached at times. The ritual seems incomplete without having to uncover the first page, the smell of fresh paper and ink and the crisp feel of every page you turn. It’s a perfect companion who won’t ditch you for the cup of coffee, or on your holidays and in bed too!!

With each passing day this bond is inseparable and this love-affair of self discovery continues so to say…

Finally it didn’t matter what I discovered, but what part of me was unveiled…

Let books be your dining table,
And you shall be full of delights
Let them be your mattress
And you shall sleep restful nights.
~Author Unknown

Love is not love until love’s vulnerable – Theodore Roethke

‘The power of relationship lies with the one who cares less as opposed to the one who cares more or has more stake in it. It’s true with every relationship we put our best foot (self) forward, a lot of effort to care for those we love or want to please. We do everything to make it perfect, never pausing to realize if these feelings are reciprocated. Till we reach a point when there’s no turning back. Our heart, our mind & our life, we have staked it all.

What makes us so vulnerable?? Is it losing the people we love, or the time we invest in the relationship, or just plain uncontainable desire perhaps? Whatever the reason, the stakes are high, but again you never know what you gain or lose till you take that risk! Onus of this risk needs a lot of courage & trust and a lot more of it when you lose out (it’s not recommended for the frail hearted).

It’s quite strange that we manage to put up a strong exterior before the outside world, which all crumbles when we are with those we love. We are never more vulnerable than when we trust someone, but are there any other ways of finding love and joy then.

And of course there are the odds that you find yourself on the other end (not the receiving one though). Coz no matter how hard you try you can never protect those you love from hurt..sometimes not even from yourself. Yes painful as it may seem, there comes a time when you hurt those you love the most, of course unintentionally (we aren’t sadists here), it just happens. No money, no success, no power can redeem you.

Having been there at both the ends, all I could say is the only way out is to be true to yourself. And keep the trust, everything starts and ends with it. That’s the only way we learn and grow up (literally). If you find yourself at the other end, learn to forgive yourself and the other (quit the guilt trip, doesn’t get you anywhere)…

Nobody’s perfect, accept that!  Even nature seems perfect coz we have accepted its imperfection!!

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice. ~Author Unknown

Be Nice…. We have often heard people say that to us, our parents have been telling us, teachers have been teaching us (by way of social studies, if I may say). It’s a virtue in itself that never goes wrong; at least that has been my experience; but a virtue that is lost somewhere.

Today in this materialistic and calculative world, hoard and hoard some more is all that we do. To satisfy our needs and demands which refuse to cease. But does cost to be “kind” or “nice”? Do we have anything to lose in it? Yes we do, it’s our EGO... and so it is bloody expensive at times.. But the returns are exemplary J and we don’t have to be a genius or successful to be nice...

You tell me, does it cost when your warm smile greets someone, it could be the only smile the person has seen in the whole day.

Or the compliment you pay to someone who least expects it, it could light up their day…

And nothing heals like a kind word spoken, it could be the last conversation you have…

As for the returns they are three fold, you might not see them… but the blessings do come, when you least expect them… I know it’s easy to preach and tough to practice, but it should make you perfect..  And as for me I only have to say that people have only been kind to me and all I can say is Gracias!

There is an anecdote that I read on an email sent to me, thought I’d share it with you..

During my second year of nursing school our professor gave us a quiz.  I breezed through the questions until I read the last one:  "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"  Surely this was a joke.  I had seen the cleaning woman several times, but how would I know her name?  I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.  Before the class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our grade.  "Absolutely," the professor said.  "In your careers, you will meet many people.  All are significant.  They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello."  I've never forgotten that lesson.  I also learned her name was Dorothy. 

I might be insignificant in someone’s life, but all I know that all of these people who cross my path are of immense significance to me.

Don’t want to preach anything here, but on a lighter note “if you step on people in this life, you’re going to come back as a cockroach in your next” :D

Ciao 

My First day

Welcome to my 'plethora of thoughts'.....
in the days coming by i will share my insights & experiences of life, love, relationships...
thoughts which are shared and those unsaid...
would love to start this journey of 'coming home' the sooner the better...
like someone rightfully said..."home is a place where your feet leave, but your heart stays forever"