An 'emotion" called Love 💓

I chanced upon this this TV show called “Modern Love”, assuming it to be a regular run of the mill rom-com show and wanting a change from the regular crime drama series that I usually love to binge on; I decided to give it a try. And I was glad I did, as it did blow my mind (and heart too) in the way they had handled the most clichéd topic “love”. Anyway, not here to review the show but would love to share my thoughts about the most ‘loved’ topic.

 These were the stories of real people from your daily walk of life, not the sugar-coated romances you see on the silver screen. The characters were close to home and heart, people you meet every day. People who know, who pass you by on a busy street, or some who you may meet in your office, better still these could be your friends too. Every story was beautiful its own way bringing you to an understanding that love is not just a whirlwind romance between two people, or what you see in a marriage; but it showed love as an emotion which can catch you unawares right when you are not prepared for it and in the most mundane places and times; and with unexpected people.

 Love comes to you in many forms, unbeknownst of your gender, age, relations, status, etc.  It has many facets of its own and waltzes into your life when you least expect it or better still when you most need it. Life has its own way to teach you and guide you to the right path, sometimes it is in the form of these serendipitous connections that show up in your life. You could be on the verge of a mental break down, at crossroads of your life or stuck in a place of indecisiveness. They appear just about when you have given up, or most importantly to steer you towards making the right decision or the right path. Yes, they just show up and sometimes only to comfort you or hold your hand. So, when these life changing connections show up, you wake up from this deep slumber and take notice.

 

Love happens when you are unafraid of revealing your true self, not only your strengths and achievements but also your vulnerabilities and weaknesses. Being vulnerable takes a huge leap of faith and that’s why it’s so important when you start open up to someone. Knowing that you may be judged for saying or doing something, but you still share your secrets with them. But also trusting that they will accept you for what and who you are. So, when you are unafraid of being your naked self, unafraid of expressing or sharing your dreams, you know you are with the right person.

They accept or ignore your shortcomings, coz hey no one’s perfect. When you look at them, it’s like looking in a mirror and falling in love with yourself again. They will be the best friend you always wanted or the answer to all your prayers or the shoulder to cry on or to rest on when you are tired. It may never be a perfect relationship, or it may just turn out to be a beautiful friendship; but then you hold on to the love it brings and celebrate it.

It is said there is no age to finding love, you can chance upon it when you are in your crazy 20’s or in golden 60’s, what matters is the connect you find with another. With age the reason for being with a person, changes from the hormone driven adolescent years to the pleasure-seeking years to those years when you want mature connections and then those years when you only crave for companionship and holding hands. Do not stop yourself from opening when someone shows up.

Finding someone who cares for you when you are not at your best, or when you are dealing with physical or mental health issues can be quite a challenge. As no one is fully equipped to understand let alone care or empathise with someone who is dealing with such anxieties. As much as it is unnerving to think about ending up with someone dealing with mental issue; but it is much more terrifying for the person going through it. The social stigma and judgements that comes along with it, could do irreversible damage. But then you always do what you need to, reach out and that’s when you can open doors to healing and love; that which comes from family, friends or at times even from strangers. As Maya Angelou said 'have enough courage to love one more time and always one more time.' 

You may not find all of these qualities in one person, but facets of them in people around you. These people or inspirations are near you, all you need to do is decipher what it is that you need to learn. In my journey I have learned a lot from these everyday people, be it in my workplace, casual acquaintances, even strangers have managed to surprise me on glum days. When you find that one that's right for you, you feel like they were put there for you and you would never want to be apart.

Hope... hopeful or hopeless it's your choice

“Three grand essentials in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for” ~ Joseph Addison

 

The one word on which the world survives… All future is hope… Dreams are hope… Wishes are hope in disguise..

The only thing that makes man wake up and live each day, is the hope we have.

We wake up in the morning and hope that today will good… we will love, spread a few smiles, work well, enjoy our existence… What the day brings about might be different from what you plan, but then there is always the night to unwind to let go and dream again. We sleep hoping to be awake the next morning.

Hope is what makes us think that tomorrow will be better and beautiful. We will dream to have a bigger house, a first-hand car, an awesome job, a loving sweetheart; for some a decent meal, enough daily wage, and the list will go on. The list that is different for different people but with only one thing in common, everyone lives with hope. 

But what do we do when we lose that very will, when we feel hopeless. Do we stop living and give up? Do we give in to despair? Or do we strive to fight out our situation? Or do we just accept it and move on?

Whether we choose to go downhill or uphill the choice is ours. The journey uphill has never been too easy, it’s a tough task, but nevertheless that’s will be a part of your growth. There will be moments when you would want to quit and give up and take the downhill path, which tempts you and seems far more easier. But I would rather say, “never ever give up”.  There is always some good when life puts you through these tests, some lessons to be learned. Face them, face yourself, face your fears, face your insecurities, face your weaknesses and they are all within you!

It’s never been too easy, not at all. Someone or some situation comes in your life to show you the mirror and you don’t like what you see. You want to flee and never see it, unnerving as it may sound it is. But build up the courage and face it, do your best and with LOVE. No one can promise a definite outcome, but you will be glad you tried and yes there will be ‘hope’ that things may change someday. But you will know that you did face your fears and emerged a winner and wiser.

It’s time to live for today and never give up the hope for a better tomorrow.

 

Reiki....the healing touch

"Just for today, I will not be angry.
Just for today, I will not worry.
Just for today, I will give thanks for my many blessings.
Just for today, I will do my work honestly.
Just for today, I will be kind to every living thing"

Healing Touch

a Time to begin...

Time to start writing my blog again……. 

Time waits for none… we all work around ‘time’ but what is this time that we talk about.

Just an intangible thing that none of us can explain. Is time the sum of our memories, experiences, and circumstances? And is time different for one and all? Well yes and a no, Time is what you make of it!

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. ~ Carl Sandburg

In today’s competitive world we all are running behind time, struggling to be on time, arrive on time, caught up in this time clock of 24 hours. The timer starts the moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and the mad rush with time begins. From getting to leave home to reaching office on time, to making it for the client appointment, to getting the kids to school on time, to the dentist’s appointment, to the gym, to the dinner date, and finally to bed (and I wouldn't be surprised if we time ourselves in our dreams too ;) ).. Phew! I guess that could all earn us a degree in well, Time Management. J

Well it’s a surprise on how much importance we give to the so called ‘time’ in our lives. So are we using our time constructively for our betterment and the good of others? Are we able to devote “time” to all those who we value and precious to us? Do we have enough Time for ourselves and our growth? 

Let me make this easier for you.

“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” – Will Rogers

In YOUR life you get to decide what you do with the ‘time’ you have in your hand. You can put it to the best use or just squander it. Whatever you do, YOU are responsible for it. Time to get to the core, what we need to identify what are our priorities in life and what we value and cherish the most. Every person has different set of needs, where some people value relationship and family ties, whereas some are driven by their passion (read career), and some take refuge in material comforts and other personal desires. Once we identify what is our priority, time to take stock of life! If you solely take the responsibility of the wings of your 'time' there is no dearth to the flights you can take. 

“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” – Michael Altshuler

To make this simpler we just need to do some self check. 

·         Where do you spend most of your time?

The first step would be to identify where maximum amount of your time is spent; at work, or commuting, with friends, socializing  etc. Then probably you could try to tweak your lifestyle and make some changes so you are left with more time in hand.

·         How do you prioritize so as to take out maximum time for things you value?

The second step would be to list down the things that you would like to do with this new found time. Probably spend it reading or playing with your children, walk your dog, join the dance class (you always wanted to), or just simply spend some more quality time with your spouse or parents. Or if you wanna be selfless could help an NGO, educate a child or just help a neighbor. 

·         If that seems difficult then taking time off (yes OFF) to do things You really want to do.

Yes if altering your schedule seems difficult then just put in that leave application you have been delaying and pack off to your holiday destination.

 These are a little things which I feel one can do make the most out of our time. In this rat race, at times we leave behind the more important things in our lives. And the most significant of all of them is “YOU” . We have to set aside certain time in our lives for OUR own growth, be it spiritual, intellectual or emotional. 

Be your own best friend and spend quality time with Yourself!

Love yourself and your self will love you back in TIME! J  

Kind words

"Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place,
but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing
at the tempting moment."

-- Benjamin Franklin

How many times have we uttered hurtful words in moments of anger or pain, and then regretted later.  I am sure there must be many a instances in life where we say or do insensitive things that we don’t really mean. Many an instance these cost us our friends, partners, spouse, job, life, etc.., the list could be endless. But that one weak moment of anger, rage or vengeance; erases all that was beautiful, all the past glory, all that was nurtured, all that we had.

They say relationships are fragile like a glass; you can mend them when they break, but the cracks will always be there.  Too many cracks and it looks ugly, both the relationship and the glass that is. So what do we do to endure these relations and keep them from getting dented by our own fury or shortcomings? The answer is very simple and yet the most difficult. It starts with ‘me’ and ends with ‘me’. The only thing that you would need to change here is this ‘me’.  Yes I know it is easier said than done to hold on at that vulnerable moment. I would probably try some breathing ;) … jokes apart I think we can achieve this only by ‘being very conscious and aware’ at that very moment. This although difficult would take some diligent effort from your side. But it would save a relationship, a job and most importantly the ‘guilt’ that follows.  More so than often we find ourselves being polite to strangers and less that amiable with our loved ones.

The echo of kind word is endless, so we make a pact with ourselves that no matter what we would need to fill this place with a positive resonance.  Not only will it bring peace to your surrounding but rid you off the taut grip of guilt and anger.

Useless to useful... a journey you need to make yourself..

Life does not agree with philosophy. There is no happiness that is not idleness, and only what is useless is pleasurable ~ Anton Chekov

You are useless… you are absolutely worthless... We must have heard these words at least once in our life. Be it our family, teachers, friends, relatives, society in general… anyone and everyone here is out to judge you, whether or not you ask for it. The society has its set (read false) standards which it has set for every living thing on this planet. a certain code of conduct, rules, principles, how to, are imposed upon you at every growing period of your life.

So are we supposed to give in and keep plying to these expectations (sometimes unrealistic… sometimes realistic but at a price) that are constantly laid down? Or we just don’t conform and are touted as rebels.

How would you define someone’s worth?? Is there a defined parameter where you would judge someone’s profitability or usefulness? Or is it a similar ‘conditioning’ that we are subjected to by the society in general. Is success very crucial to our survival or a non successful but a happy existence more important. I would want to sound prudent and say that successful people are not happy, but yes everything comes at a price. In today’s day and age where there is no success without competition, I would say it is a ‘costly’ affair. So with such high pressures in the society it would be unlikely that your merit is weighed every single day. Every day we strive to live up to the expectations of our family members, office superiors, colleagues, peers, neighbors’ too, etc etc. the list could be endless.

Do we measure our worth through the eyes of these people and the standards they have set up for us or do we truly value ourselves without being harsh on us and accept ourselves the way we are. Why is the need for recognition from others so essential? Perhaps that’s the way our egos are satisfied too, ever since we step into nursery.

Nature (read god) on its own is all encompassing and ever accepting of everything that shelters within it. The trees, rocks, plants, rivers, animals, birds, every being is unique and precious. The circle of life is incomplete without the absence any one creature in this thirst for survival. A rock is as important as the delicate lotus, a tiger is as vital as the tender deer; a chameleon has its own significance as does a butterfly, and an eagle and a sparrow are as much a part of this perfect existence. So why is it that we as humans fail to understand and accept our nature and our shortcomings and be our beautiful self’s? Contrary to the general perception we all are just fine with our weaknesses and strength. And yes I wouldn’t deny that our creativity and skills do need improvisation, so that we could excel in our own way. And this wouldn’t be at the ‘COST’ of anything.

Finding your true nature and your calling is very critical to turn you into the person not that the society wants you to be, but rather reach your highest potential.  The whole approach might look the same that the society has carved for us but it’s far more joyful, sincere and non serious. And whoever said that useless people are not important to our society, have not yet realized the importance of recycling… at the cost of sounding funny what I meant what the skills and qualities of these people have not been recycled yet. And the day we find rediscover our true identity, it would be up to the world to reassess your worth. J  

No one is “useless” in the world who lightens the burden of it for anyone else ~ Charles Dickens

Being honest…

The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. ~ Arthur C. Clarke

Is honesty honestly the best policy or is the middle route of a bit of honesty and a bit of lies seems safer. On an average every person lies at least 4-5 times in a day (though the average for men seems higher than the women, not being biased here) which on a real note seems acceptable. We all have our share of white lies on display at work, with our family, spouse, and friends.

As they say truth and honesty come at a price, the only question being here at what expense. What is it that is at stake? Our moral standards persuade us to comply to honestly. In our day to day living it is essential that we incorporate this virtue. In this generation x where we could stoop to any levels to survive the cut throat competition and achieve our ambitions, little does it matter that we compromise on honesty. Survival of the fittest seems to be the worldly mantra now. So in a professional environment it’s a given, that you compromise on your honesty at some point in time.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.  ~Josh Billings

In the truest term honesty can never be ‘policy’, and it can’t be applied to all walks of life. Where in a competitive world conciliation with your honesty is tolerable, how acceptable is it in our relationships. Do we risk losing the people we love and care at the cost of being honest? Or do they strengthen the ties? Where this topic could be vastly debatable, it does require a good deal of reflection. We all want to be honest when it comes to our relationships, but whether or not the opposite person mature enough to handle it will always be incomprehensible. And then the only safer path appears to be that of white lies. But the only thing one should be wary of is not to allow these white lies progress to murky deceptions.  To allow almost total honesty would mean oodles and oodles of trust in a relationship, where one knows their limitations and adheres to the same. And when you find yourself at the receiving end of these ‘ugly truths’, all you can do is muster up all the maturity you have and trust ;)

Honesty is the cruelest game of all, because not only can you hurt someone – and hurt them to the bone – you can feel self-righteous about it at the same time. ~ Dave Van Ronk

We all have our reasons (good enough) to do (or say) what we do, whether honest or not, we should be responsible for our own ugly truths. The toughest test would be being honest and true to oneself… it wouldn’t ensure you will be loved, but is certainly an integral part of it.