Why is it that the people we truly love seem far away? Why is it that everyone wants to be physical but not intimate? Is being intimate and being vulnerable, the scariest thing in a relationship? What is it that we seek in our relationships? Freedom, space, love, companionship, sex, togetherness may be all of these. But do freedom and companionship go hand in hand or it’s just utopia???
What is it that locks all doors to intimacy? Is it because it puts an end to our freedom? Or is it very painful to bare our soul to the one we love and counter rejection? Or sharing our secrets would make us more vulnerable to hurt? The answer could be a plain ‘yes’ to all these questions and a lot more perhaps!
In today’s time and age it is a rarity to find the intimacy that the older generation boasted about. Given the vast number of choices and options, it’s very rarely that we do we make an endeavor to get closer or open our souls to the object of our affection. The proximity that we have is give or take only physical and to a trivial extent mental. These relationships which could be termed as ‘hit and run’ relationships of the millennia are more about meeting on the periphery. Here we only manage to know the person just on the outside and we do not make any attempt to be acquainted with the real person. And on the other hand we also create a wall around ourselves, to allow anyone a peek inside our heart too.
In the present day’s digitalized era why do we find comfort in the sms or chats rather a one to one talk with each other. We could be in the most coveted relationship and yet it could be devoid of intimacy. What is it that we want to avoid or run away from? Are we running from the other who again is a mere reflection of ourselves?
So why is that we are satisfied with these superficial bonds than pursue real relations. Is it too much to invest in true happiness or is it that we rather handle superficial sadness and pain better. I would agree that that the stakes are really high when it’s our heart which is at risk. But no gains would be real without pains. I would say risk everything including yourself, lose yourself don’t hold back even that 1% of yourself. In love the one who loses gains all.
Most times we are scared of being judged by the people we love. But what we really need to do is accept ourselves for what we truly are. Leave the judging to the critiques, every minute spent on judging a person is one minute spent less on loving them. We are always trying to save ourselves from hurt, manipulating our feelings, but the real adventure lies in letting go. If nothing happens you know that at least you were real and true to your own feelings. And that is when real growth happens.
Be careful when you invest, be shrewd when you doing business, be diplomatic when you are doing your job, be rigid when you go out there to fulfill your ambitions…. But be carefree, be naïve, be sensitive, be soft and be intimate when you love… that’s how you grow within and be your authentic self.
